What is resilience? How do we face adversity, constant change and stress and come out stronger in the end? We hear a lot of talk about resilience—stress resilience, emotional resilience, and just plain resilience. What exactly is it? How do we build resilience?

Recently, I tried a classic coaching technique on myself. I asked some friends and acquaintances about my strengths. One answered, without a second of hesitation, "Bouncing back." I all but glowed when I heard her. She's right. I know how to bounce back, and I do it quickly—from challenges, from emotional distress, even from a cold. I pride myself on my stress resilience. I do continuous personal development for greater mental and emotional resilience. I biohack my way into physical resilience. I push and pull to make sure I can handle what's thrown at me. This drive comes from way back when I lost first my mother (I was seven) and then my father (eight) and then the next family that took me in (10), and so on. I learned early on that if you can't prepare for the unknown, at least you can find yourself again, and move on.

What is resilience?

Psychology Today defines resilience as "the psychological quality that allows some people to be knocked down by the adversities of life and come back at least as strong as before." I personally like the explanation in Merriam-Webster's Dictionary: "In physics, resilience is the ability of an elastic material (such as rubber or animal tissue) to absorb energy (such as from a blow) and release that energy as it springs back to its original shape. The recovery that occurs in this phenomenon can be viewed as analogous to a person's ability to bounce back after a jarring setback." What stands out for me here is the part "to absorb energy and release that energy." So resilience is about wise energy management. My favorite subject of all time.

How to build resilience

Some specialists, including psychologist Glenn Richardson and education specialists RC Mills and R Shuford, resilience is something we all have, it's “hard wired in us as human beings, just as the ability to breathe or ingest food or have our heart beat to pump blood are all innate, hard wired functions.”

The American Psychological Association likens increasing resilience to building muscle. Sorry, there is no magic pill here. We need to put in the time, but we don't need to expose ourselves to constant trauma. In fact, our overall resilience improves when we apply the principle of hormesis—temporary exposure to one type of stressor can result in adaptations that make you more resistant to other types of stressors.

Hormesis is the “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” type of stress. Stress throws the body off-balance, disrupting homeostasis. The body actually thrives on occasional low-level stress—exercise is one example—and responds with growth and repair to return to a balance. That’s hormesis—your body’s positive response to minor stressors.

Over time, you can use this push and pull approach, with small doses of the right challenges—exercise, cold showers, learning, overcoming fears, etc.— to adapt better to stressors, which makes it easier to bounce back. This is how to build resilience.

Resilience in a nutshell

Resilience is our ability to absorb the energy of a setback and release that energy when we bounce back, using it to move forward.
We all have resilience and can build our levels with practice, choosing the right tiny stressful challenges to grow our ability to face greater setbacks.

Learn more about building resilience with the Potentializer Academy. We have personalized programs to build skill in wise energy management, which builds your resilience.