Why, Now More Than Ever, Your Goal Setting Never Works out the Way You Planned
Maybe you write down your goals, make them SMART, and still they don't work out the way you imagined. It's worse now, with uncertainty a daily dish. What can you do about it?
Image: JumpStory
Goals feel so reassuring. I'm going to do this or that. I can see it. I write it down because I know that will increase my chances of success. And yet—this was true even before the world was facing a pandemic—so many of those goals remain unachieved or simply fall to the wayside. Lost to something new and better, or forgotten with the latest change or crisis to manage.
What are we doing wrong? Here's a short list:
We get overwhelmed and flustered.
We lack vision and/or purpose.
We are too vague.
We aim to high or too low.
We get distracted.
Or we're just too damn tired.
Choose your poison. And now, with the world even more in flux, we have some new excuse popping up every day to keep us from achieving our goals.
There is a better way. When it’s done right, goal setting can boost performance and productivity up to 25%. It turns out that goal setting is nuanced: not every goal is the same, and not all goals are appropriate for every situation. There’s a science and an art to it.
Mindset Shift
I used to have a hundred goals—big project goals—at any given time, convinced that having so many was the only way that I would accomplish ten of them. I thought that if I had only ten, then I’d only get one done, and I’m way too hungry for life to only accomplish one goal at a time.
Then, one day, I had an epiphany. I realized that 10 goals out of a hundred was a 90% failure rate! It hit me as a shock. And I thought maybe I could revisit my logic. I reduced my number of ongoing goals to 10. And got 8 or 9 done, which was a much better percentage. It resulted in a lot more dopamine circulating in my brain. Dopamine is the pleasure and motivation hormone. Talk about a virtuous circle.
Those of you who know me recognize my obsession with getting biology to work for us rather than against us. And that’s part of getting goal setting right.
Why Goal-setting Is Important
Goal setting is nothing new. Aristotle called goals one of the four foundational “causes” or big drivers of change.
This is because we are, “Complex adaptive goal-directed systems,” as Flow specialist Steven Kotler says. We are built to be aimed at something. Even physically—you direct your attention wherever your eyes look, which is why notifications popping up on your screen are so deadly for concentration.
That’s why we set goals: to look where we want our attention to follow. And fabulously, you do not need to know how to get there—if you set the goal, it’s like a GPS, you set the direction, and the line will be straighter getting there. So, it's the act of setting a goal—whatever it be and whether or not you know how to achieve it or even achieve it—that counts, first and foremost.
What Are Goals?
There are different kinds of goals. When we talk about goal setting, a lot of people think about goals that involve measurable performance—they are called performance goals. You have some control over the outcome.
Not all goals have to be performance goals, there can be larger purpose goals, being goals, connection goals, growth goals, learning goals, mission goals.
By setting goals clearly and writing them down, longhand, you set your focus. You remove some of the randomness and reaction from your life. Both of which are, as high performance coach Brendon Burchard says, “the enemies of efficiency and free time."
Getting Smart About Goal-setting
Here are a few basics that can help become more effective at setting goals.
We always start with very personal goals related to getting enough stuff for oneself—securing your own safety is your brain’s job. Only afterward can we work on goals for family and then for the larger community. This means that today, with all the uncertainty we are facing, finding ways to feel safe will help in our goal achievement. This could mean having a gratitude practice, spending time with friends and people close to you, focusing on the basics. And dropping the guilt. This is how we are made.
We need to set our own goals. Motivation comes in two forms, extrinsic motivation, which comes from outside—you have to do this or that, possible for your safety or security. And intrinsic motivation, which stems from your own sense of curiosity, values, and passion. When someone else sets a goal for you, you lose the commitment and motivation that comes from an intrinsic goal. And yet we all have goals set by others. The hack is to reappropriate them for ourselves, finding our own sense of intrinsic motivation for doing them by connecting to our vision and purpose.
We humans hate ambiguity, so our brain can buckle down with more enthusiasm and purpose when we are clear about what we're after. Specific makes it easier to commit. This is why SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant/realistic, and Time-bound) can be very effective for certain kinds of goals.
We feel more self-esteem and get better results when chasing challenging goals. About 80% of people set goals that are too low or no goals at all. When goals are too low, we get bored and distracted. And when they are too challenging, we get frustrated and distracted. We need to find our own sweet spot.
And when we are too tired, our willpower and drive drop dramatically and... well, we get distracted.
Optimizing Goal-setting
So, here's a short list of things to do to counter the above short list of what we do wrong:
Enhance feelings of safety however you can.
Find some connection to your vision and purpose (intrinsic motivation).
Be specific.
Challenge yourself just the right amount.
Fix your energy.